TPOC - The Post Orgasm Crash

 

Is there any use in crying over spilt milk?  

You don't need to have been around very long to know that quite often, men can be quite different people right before and orgasm and right after one.  I'm no medical or psych expert by any means, just a man who has orgasms.  😁  There's no question I experience this phenomena and it's something I've thought on quite a lot.  As the post title suggests, I've coined this The Post Orgasm Crash, or TPOC.

I know this is another thing that upsets many women and it can be just as upsetting to us men when it happens.

Let me say right up front, that I think TPOC is deeply hard wired in the male brain.  I clearly have no idea, but perhaps it is the last remnants of an ancient survival mechanism that caused the male to be hyper focused on mating and then as soon as his seed spilled, he was compelled to distance himself from the female.  Maybe to allow others the chance to breed her or maybe a safety function of splitting them.  I don't know, but it isn't something we consciously do or even want to experience ourselves.

I personally think that in most instances, it really has no meaning entwined in it and is just a brain-chemical dump that brings about that stoic, maybe even withdrawn, demeanor.  There's probably some of this that makes masturbation relaxing and calming for us as I discussed in another post.

Now, sure, it is entirely possible that TPOC can reveal some pre-arousal emotions.  Maybe there is some anger, resentment, or even embarrassment that gets pushed down while the man is sexually aroused and tightly focused that come flooding back in as soon as he ejaculates and that can cause a withdrawal.  Only the individual can answer that and I hope men are very reflective and honest with themselves and deal with these emotions if they are there.  I would say this is especially worth considering if the TPOC is significant.

But, I honestly feel that in most cases, it is just a natural occurrence that men cannot prevent.  We don't tend to love it happening either.  Just ask any man who swears they're going to lick their own cum, right up until they cum and then recoil at the thought.  😁😕 But we also don't want to hurt our lovers.

I would ask women to have some patience with men when they experience TPOC but at the same time, I would ask men to make a conscious effort to adjust your behavior as much as possible.  Touch her, embrace her, smile at her.  You may have to force it in the immediate aftermath, but make the effort.

TPOC doesn't last long so as it wanes, increase your positive response to her.  Tell yourself how lucky you were to have just had the experience that led to TPOC.  Put yourself in her place and consider how you would feel in her place.

This is even more important in the D/s relationship.  The Dominant may well know that TPOC will be coming but at the same time, they may very much need feedback on the activity.  Are you okay?  Did they cross a line?  Did their actions have the affect they wanted them to have?  And so on.

And as a submissive, we have an obligation to provide that feedback and show our appreciation.