The Enigma That Is Male Chastity

 There's an old saying about  straight men, "They spend nine months trying to get out and the rest of their lives trying to get back in!"  😄  

Straight, gay or somewhere in between, I don't think I need to dwell on how horny men are.

So why in the world would a man, especially a husband, willingly submit to being placed in chastity?!  Hell if I know!  😂  

Okay, maybe some pondering...

I actually prefer the term Regimented Orgasm Control (ROC) to chastity just because I think it encompasses more facets to this powerful dynamic.

When Domme T and I first engaged in BDSM all those years ago, I was certainly intrigued by chastity and even talked to her about it more than once.  But it wasn't really something she was very keen on then.  She did like controlling my orgasms but there were no restrictions on me in terms of masturbation or the like.  Well, maybe short-term play but nothing more than a day or two.

That is absolutely not the case this time around!  She readily accepted my offer to surrender full control of my orgasms to her and this includes no masturbation and full chastity.  I'm only allowed to cum with her permission and in the fashion she prescribes and then I'm back into another chastity cycle.  Not only did she readily accept it this time, I think it was going to be a prerequisite.

But why do men want this?  That is such a complicated question and as a man who wanted it and still does even though I'm in it, I'm not even sure I can give solid answers.

First, I'm not a cuckold nor would Mistress want that kind of relationship.  In no way do I judge those couples who do embrace that lifestyle but it is not for us and not why we embrace male chastity, or ROC.  Cuckolding brings a very different dynamic to this practice.  But Domme T has no desire to have sex with any other man and taking ownership of my orgasms has nothing to do with that and everything to do with sheer power and influence.

If you've read my post on Men and Masturbation then you'll know how powerful a practice it is for men and how much it means to us.  But, for some of us, especially when we're younger, it can also be problematic.  It is so easy to get sucked into porn and find yourself in a cycle of porn viewing and jacking off to the point of adversely impacting your relationship.  Of course for some, it becomes a genuine addiction that impacts their entire life.  This can be one motivation to surrender control to our partners.  An acknowledgement of our inability to control ourselves and by asking to go into chastity, these men are also asking for help.  It can be a very vulnerable and intimate request and hopefully the receiving partners will recognize it as such.

For some of us, the idea of chastity is actually arousing.  There is something exciting about not being in control of this most primal aspect of our lives that is also so fundamental to us.  Maybe there's a hint of competitiveness within ourselves too.  Can we do it?

For others of us, it can also be a way to relieve performance anxiety.  We aren't in control, someone else is.  Maybe they can make it last longer?  Or they'll know exactly when they want me to cum and I don't have to try to read it.  

For me specifically it is a bit of all those things.  When we were younger there is no question my libido and selfish focus on my orgasms caused us problems and sometimes heartache.  Looking back, I hate that.  I don't regret my sexual appetite as we both most definitely made the most out of it but I do regret not being more disciplined with it.  

I'm mature enough now to know that I indeed lack that discipline and I don't want to hurt her again or do anything that jeopardizes this beautiful thing we've got going.  I knew that right up front and offered to be subjected completely to her ROC.

The longest cycle she's put me through so far has been eleven days which I know is nothing compared to many men but it was significant for me.  It wasn't just eleven stoic days but rather every single day she teased and tormented me and it made it all so much harder.  I'll talk about that in another post.

I'll also do a post on how I asked my wife to embrace male chastity and place her own husband in it. 

Suffice to say, I think giving up control of my orgasms is foundational to our D/s relationship and honestly is improving our overall marriage.  I'm more attentive and appreciative than I ever have been.