"So baby, I was thinking...": Asking Your Wife To Agree To Male Chastity

 Right up front, let me say that I don't know how different men should ask their respective wives to place their husbands in chastity.  Or girlfriends and boyfriends, or hell, boyfriends and boyfriends, for that matter.  Though that does bring up an interesting question of if it is an easier transition for a M/M couple?

Anyway, I can only say that you should do some real soul searching before you ever bring it up.  Get your thoughts together the best you can.  Don't just say stuff like, "it'll be so hot!"  That's probably not going to cut it.  Sharing some of your feelings, especially some vulnerable ones will most definitely help.

If you're not currently engaged in a power exchange relationship, or at least well familiar with them, this can be quite a shock for your partner.  They may even take it as a form of rejection and that is the very last reaction you want them to have.  But you should understand that they might feel that way and it is up to you to navigate them through that feeling and bring them out the other side with the realization it is the exact opposite of rejection.  It is in fact a act of pure love, devotion and trust.

This is largely on you as the male to make this introduction successful.  Weird huh?  You have to work hard to get your partner to prevent you from masturbating, force you to go long periods without cumming, and quite possibly placing a device on your genitals that inhibits you even being able to touch yourself.  But yeah, that's the reality of it.

Women, in general, are emotional creatures and you should incorporate that into your introduction.  Try your best to explain what this means to you and why and more importantly, why she specifically is the one you want to do this with.

Don't come out of the gate with a bunch of fantasy stuff or lead with showing her cock cages.  This may take several sessions and things like that can, uh hum, come later.  😛

I would offer that if you can't articulate some genuine motivating emotions at least rudimentarily, then maybe you aren't ready to have the discussion, let alone truly dive into chastity.  This is important, treat it as such.  Take your time and get ready.  Write it down if you have to.  That's what I did.

Submitting myself to full Regimented Orgasm Control was something that I not only knew for sure I wanted, but it was something I thought would be foundational to our D/s success. After our very first talk, brief as it was, about returning to power exchange relationship, I sat down and authored a multipage contract.

I hand wrote it and think that is important.  Yes my hand cramped several times and yes my handwriting is atrocious in spots, but it demonstrated my commitment to the endeavor and made it personal.  The very first paragraph of the contract is me admitting to causing her pain because of my cock-fixation and lack of self-discipline.  I explained that I was fully and totally relinquishing control of my orgasm to her and how I knew she was far better suited to be in charge than I am.  I also swore to do my very best not to cheat and promised to tell her if I did, even if was unintentional, like in my sleep.  I mean, I'll don't think that'll happen but I wanted everything covered!  😊

After she read the entire contract, which covered several topics, we then had multiple candid and honest conversations and obviously, my offering to enter into chastity was a major subject.  I talked about all the things I mentioned above and explained why it is so important to me and how much I trust her to own this facet of my life.  

Unlike years ago, this time she was very agreeable.  While she's never said as much, I suspect she was going to introduce it at some point and was on board as soon as she read my words.  But, I also think that once I started talking about, she happily allowed me to share my thoughts.  I think she realized that I was much more committed to it than she may have originally thought.  I think she was probably a little flattered by some of the things I said too.  😏

It is something that not only do I not regret at all, but am so happy that we're doing it.  Yes, it is very difficult and yes it can be extremely frustrating, but I know it is so important for us and I'm so relieved to finally be at a place in life to admit it.